From this day forward.

For Sunday School... I decided to focus upon……..Forgiveness….

This lesson is about ways husbands and wives can build a foundation for a growing marital relationship.

Many marriages are in trouble or languishing in co-existence without a growing relationship IN CHRIST and without true love.

Why is a foundation for a growing marital relationship so important?

Wait on it……………………..

There is a beautiful answer to this question on the last page of our study today;

Page 113

Husbands and wives can build a foundation for growing as a couple through their common commitment to Christ.

You see, as we all know or should know…. This married life is not about me or my wife or us as a couple or our children, alone; It is about our individual and corporate commitment to Christ!!

Is there intimacy with Christ in your life? If so, why?

Wait…..

If not, why not?

Wait…….

Is there intimacy with your spouse? If so, why?

Wait….

If not, why not?

Wait……

Why, in many marriages, is there a lack of intimacy?????

Wait……

We know that marriages are God’s plan for most of us in this room. If you are not married, hopefully this lesson will allow you to see how these truths apply to your close relationships, because that is what I believe we’re talking about; the closest relationship we can have on earth, as I have previously spoken about.

God’s plan is for us to be married; “and for this reason a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. And the two shall become one flesh.” Paul went on to say in ……………..

Ephesians 5:31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Christ and the church, he said……….. hmmmmm, he relates our marriages to the same relationship that Christ has with the church.

So, it begins with God and Christ, right?

Wait….

Ephesians 5: 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy,

Right? It’s about Christ and the church. It’s about Christ in us and the mystery of being joined or cleaved together as one flesh; one person, spiritually and physically.

Are we IN Christ? Yes, indeed, if we believe in Him and …

What has happened to us as we are IN Christ? I came across this verse this week and it stunned me, it shook me and it made me focus for two days upon the truths thereof;

1 Corinthians 1:30-31

30 It is because of him (God) that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."[d]

Pray with me….

Merciful Father… you have allowed Jesus Christ to become WISDOM for us. He is our RIGHTEOUSNESS, our HOLINESS and our REDEMPTION and because of Him we can stand before your throne and worship and act as your stewards and call upon your power and fulfill your will by loving you and our neighbors as ourselves. Praise you…..

So, our primary focus, our primary relationship as men and women is…………………… what?

Our relationship with CHRIST!

Our secondary relationship is with whom?

Our spouse!!

If our relationship with Christ is off kilter, what do you think our relationship with our spouse will be?

Off kilter? Hmmmm.

So total focus on our relationship with Christ, worship, obedience and growing in the knowledge of God are the primary focus of each of us in order for us to be equipped to maintain a similar relationship with our spouse.

Do you remember the great commandment? Love God and others as ourselves… who is that primary OTHER? Our spouse!

"In marriage, there is to be mutual submission where a woman yields to the leadership of a man who denies himself in order to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. What a mystery this is! He is still the leader, but he submits his life to his mate.” (Why You Need the Spirit (Part Two) Ephesians 5:21

And be subject to one another in the fear of Christ, the FamilyLife® Website)

Ok, so is there trouble in the house? Is there difficulty in that relationship? Don’t answer, but, think, right now. What is going on in that relationship? Is there a blockage, a hindrance to the fulfillment of a rich, vibrant, fulfilling and intimate relationship in your marriage?

If so……………. What are we to do?

Wait on it

1. We’re to get into a vibrant growth relationship with God by rededicating our lives to growing in the knowledge of God; read his word, focus on a study, go to a small group, but, get back to Him.

2. Identify the obstacle, and go through what I believe we’ll see as the formula for making things right…

Please, someone read Psalm 51:1-5

Psalm 51

1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge.

5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

And continue, Psalm 51:6-10 someone please read…

Psalm 51:6-10

6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts [a] ; you teach [b] me wisdom in the inmost place.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

9 Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Someone please tell us the story of why David was praying in this fashion. What happened?

Wait on it………….

The lesson tells us that “David had a weak moment.”

David was not where he should have been; at the battlefront, leading his people. He was lounging around Jerusalem where his evil desires took ahold of him.

There’s a great question in here, under Q2 page 107; “Many wrong things we do in life we think we can get away with because no one noticed, but what does it take for God not to notice our sin?”

Wait on it……………….

I wrote……….. NOT DO IT!

But what if we did do it? Does God notice?

Does your spouse know?

Even if your spouse does not know, does he/she know?

Of course, because the intimacy is damaged….

What is the example/message given to us in Psalm 51?

Nathan brought David’s sin to light

David recognized the sin and repented.



David prayed to God to forgive and to restore him, and, later,



inspired by God, wrote Psalm 51, which reflected his prayer of repentance.



What about us?



What about YOU…………… is your relationship with God, damaged because of sin? Who can reveal it to you?



Will you repent?



Right NOW?



Wait on it………………………………….



I believe, and forgive me if I’m wrong, but, I believe that there is a huge elephant in every room of Believers and that elephant is;



Are we really AUTHENTIC?



Are we really surrendered to Christ? Have we been convicted of our lack of authenticity with God, but just playing the Christian game?



What about YOU…………… is your relationship with God, damaged because of sin?



Who can reveal it to you?



Will you repent?



Right NOW?



Wait on it………………………………….



I am broken!!! I have been fixed by the mercy of God through redemption in Christ. I still need to die all day long to the humility of being a child of God living in a world of sinfulness. I am sinful. I am heinous in many of the thoughts, words and actions I allow to invade my personal life. But, I am not a slave to sin any longer. I am a slave to the King of the universe, Christ Jesus, my Lord.



In my private life and devotion, God brings my sin to light



I recognize the sin and repent.



I pray to God to forgive and to restore me and my life reflects a life of repentance.



How about YOU?



Without this recognition of sinfulness, without this pulling on our hearts that we are in-authentic and not sold out to God… there is no repentance. There is no righteousness. There is no power. There is no fulfillment of God’s purposes for our lives.



Get authentic and right………….. right now!!



What about YOU…………… is your relationship with God, damaged because of sin?



Who can reveal it to you?



Will you repent?



Right NOW?



Wait on it………………………………….



Can I get a witness?



So, how does that relate to our relationship with our spouses?



Go to Page 108 and I will read starting in the middle;



“To God the thoughts of the heart are as visible as the body and he looks for integrity in the inner self. David described conviction from God as the teaching of wisdom deep within. Repentance comes when we can see ourselves from God’s perspective, when through His spirit’s witness to our hearts we interpret our thoughts and deeds in light of God’s standard.



Confession means to agree with God, to cease self-justification or the making of excuses and to admit our own fault. This means that our hearts have been enlightened by God and we see clearly where we had previously been deceived by our lusts and the Devil.”



What about YOU…………… is your relationship with God, damaged because of sin?



Who can reveal it to you?



Will you repent?



Right NOW?



Wait on it………………………………….



Getting right with God allows us to get right with our spouses. The model God gives us in Psalm 51 is a model for our closest relationships; our spouses.



Now that each of us is right with God, let’s look at the dynamics of forgiveness as outlined in our lesson on page 109.



David talks about a cleansing of his heart. “In this regard the heart implies the center of moral character.”



“God is willing to forgive and restore the believer who repents. On the basis of God’s forgiveness, husbands and wives need to be willing to forgive one another. Forgiving another means to let go of the anger and bitterness in our hearts. As followers of Christ we are commanded to forgive and to hold on to grievances does significant harm to our own hearts and lives. Restoration is another matter, and is not always possible, especially when the offending party has not repented. However, when situations are placed in God’s hands, He does amazing things.”



The book talks about Little Foxes identified to us in the Song of Solomon 2:15;



“Catch the foxes for us – the little foxes that ruin the vineyards – for our vineyards are in bloom.”



The little foxes are explained to be the ‘small problems that gnaw at the root of the couple’s love.”



It goes on to say that “Vigilance is necessary for the maintenance of a healthy marriage relationship. The little problems that inevitably show up in every marriage must be dealt with before they can do serious damage to the relationship.”



What steps will you commit to take this week to improve your service as a couple to God?